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Savoring Single

Savoring Single

Because we were meant to enjoy it.

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Category: Poetic

Posted on April 24, 2017October 4, 2017

I see you.

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He never intended you to live in the dark. But sometimes we do not know because we simply didn't take the time to ask. Or maybe we asked from the wrong perspective. It's easy for this life of faith to turn into faith for a good life. So we ask for things, that may even sound good, but are rooted in selfish desire or ambition. And when He doesn't respond, or doesn't respond the way we thought He should, we easily blame Him. for our disappointment. for the consequences of things we chose in absence of direction. When really.... We weren't seeking His will, we just wanted our way. So we miss His direction and the path we were meant to take. His will is His Word. Dig deep. Let it be your rock. Your source. Let it be the beginning worship. The conversation opener for prayer. The meditation of your heart. The longing of your soul. The mentor for your success. The counselor for your wholeness. The standard for your decisions. The measure of your potential. The closing argument of your fear. Then you'll walk in the confidence of His leadership by the light on your path from the glory of His abiding presence.
While we obsess over our destination, Jesus patiently whispers, "I just want to walk with you. Will you take your eyes off the future for a moment, and simply enjoy the journey with me?" Church, let's commit together to a renewed focus on the presence of Jesus, our prize, the One who is with us here and now, even in the waiting! [Repost from Bethel Church, Redding] The journey is the destination. Eternity begins here. now. It's all about Him.
I wept in the car so bitterly, so broken, I should have pulled over and stopped the car. [This post began a few weeks ago. I just realized I never posted. So sharing now.] Turning 36 was hard. I won't lie. Our journey of faith is sometimes raw and real and aims to tear away all the facades we hide behind in an attempt to self-help ourselves back together. How silly we are. I am. Because only He can. I was faced with an old giant. At least I thought. But really, I was just tired. Physicslly exhausted with a schedule turned on end and 100 things happening all at once. So it didn't take much for an old thought to capsize my heart and plummet my soul into realms I had not been for some time. Because I don't live there anymore. It is not my home. Loneliness is not my identity. But I remember the ugly desperation of my longing to be whole in Christ that I pleaded with him to remove it from me for I could bare it no more. I would not live life sad. Not for some time. Not now. Not anymore. Only to wake up to a devotional email sent that very hour. That hour of my weakness and gut-wrenching struggle of being free from the sadness that keeps me from all of Him. It read: "I’ve seen every struggle. Though at times you didn’t notice, I have been with you when you cried, and I hold each tear. I know each breath and each sigh of your heart as you bow before my throne in surrender. I know the times you’ve doubted. I’ve danced with the angels when the battle for your soul only made you stronger. Thank you for depending on me when fear fought for your agreement. Beloved, I’ve seen it all, and I see you reaching out to me again now. Thank you for your love." (Passion Translation - I hear his whisper) Sweet girl. He sees you. There's no safer place to surrender your heart than to His. None more worthy of being depended on with your whole life. Reach out. Again and again. Never stop pursuing Him. Even in the grief. The sadness. The tears. Reach out for Him again. And He will come. He's unfailing.
This is hard core truth dressed up in pretty pink. When it's the hardest to pray... When it's the hardest to prophesy His promise because everything seems the exact opposite... When worship comes through soul-wrenching tears... When declaring who He is feels like a knife because you're choosing faith instead of fear and doubt... This is when you become that fierce woman of God you want to be. This is when you place yourself as a daughter on His lap. This is when He wins your heart, your battle, your life. This is when the button the enemy used to push to defeat you is rendered useless to his devices. And girl don't I know it! 36 and single with zero prophetic clarity as to why. I've prayed these prayers through sorrow and grief dozens of times. But each time I grow stronger in Christ. How I know? Because the language of my prayer changes. And the peace that comes is such a beautiful reminder that He's a perfect Father and had never let me down.
What you feel as you scroll, when you close the app, when you want to open it up again. These are all tells - to ourselves - and are the fruit of what we are consuming. Maturity and self-awareness come when we then act accordingly. Unfollow. Unsubscribe. Setting dark hours and no phone zones. Or even writing that inspirational thought down to pray about it later. Better yet, right then. "📷" Thanks for sharing @justallisonmarie by way of @abimeganreid.
This is me. After a month of not working out, I made it a whole 2 sets in the gym and I'm toast. So instead of rocking a session with my trainer, I'm in the locker room queezy and can't hardly breathe. See, for me, eating right coincides with working out. If one falls off they both do. And they both did because my schedule at work has been crazy. With all the changes my routine has been non-existent. So this is my humble way of starting over. I am embarrassed and wasted a valuable session....but so much so, I'm not gonna let that happen again anytime soon! But faith is often the same way. We wait for the big moment to strengthen our faith only to fall short. When devotional time falls off, so does our character or right choices, making it easier to compromise and distance ourselves from accountability. But then goliath shows up like a failed relationship, negative doctors report or traumatic life event and we end up hiding in the bathroom out of shape and weak. Worse yet, we often blame it on God like somehow He didn't come through. When really, we just didn't take our preparation seriously enough to be ready. We must prepare. It's just as important as the battle itself. Even determining the outcome before we ever hit the battle field. So this week, I'm going to eat better and add in a gym session, to get back in the swing of things. What can you do, in life or faith, to prepare for what's next?

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