When you know discomfort is headed your way, what do you do? Like, if you know you’re about to start and cramps are short to follow…do you grab your heating pad? Midol? Chocolate? Yes. Chocolate. Okay, so what if you know you’re going to have your wisdom teeth taken out…pain killers? Netflix? Ice Cream? What about when it’s a soon-coming conflict with your best friend or you’re about to have to break up with someone?
When we know there is going to be discomfort, we likely reach for comfort, grasping hold of things that will ease the pain, shorten the time or lighten the severity of it. We don’t like to be uncomfortable. It’s the reason I don’t go to the gym. Its why I don’t wear jeans 2 sizes too small. Girls do, I get it. But why? So. Uncomfortable.
Girls, is there a chance we are living our life this way without even realizing it, foreseeing discomfort so grasping for comfort where we can?
For instance, if you are convinced that your single season is going to be miserable and depressing, because that’s just the way it is, you’re likely reaching for other things to bring pleasure to an otherwise miserable season.
This is where we can easily get in trouble by falling into traps we never thought were temptations. Gossip, lust, porn, alcohol, parties, wrong relationships, unhealthy emotional ties, bad dudes, wrong friends, etc.
If we feel like we’re going to be deficient, we will likely overcompensate to fill that area with something else. See, Proverbs 4:23 says “So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being for from there flows the wellspring of life.”
Your whole life is rooted in the affections (emotions and feelings) of your heart and the welfare (health) of your spirit and soul. This is, at the core, who you are. Your heart. And the health of your heart “determines the course of your life” (NLT).
But sometimes we don’t think it really matters, because “it is what it is” and there’s nothing we can do about it. So we hit these emotional highs and lows, struggle with some real issues and brush it off like it’s just a pesky mosquito.
Then we go about our life with the same cycles, the same hurts and worries, the same cloud over our head that never seems to go away.
But it can go away. We just have to Pay Attention. He tells us to, because he knows we likely won’t. We’ll stay busy, be distracted, put another band-aid on it and keep going. Then because we’re uncomfortable, we’ll grasp for comfort in unhealthy ways, making it all so much worse. Then the cycle repeats.
If this is you, if you feel that your single season is going to be miserable until you get married, can I encourage you to see it from a different perspective? To look at this season the way God sees every other season of your life…as good. Everything He created was good. Even Adam was single for a season and in that season God called it good. I totally get how tough that can be. I’ve lived it. I haven’t always seen it that way. But I do now and life is so much better!
We can enjoy being single. We can savor our single season. Not as a catchy saying or because it’s what I call this ministry, but because it’s true. You were meant to enjoy it. And if you’re not, I would encourage you to “guard the affections of your heart” and “pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being.” Go to God with what you’re dealing with, honestly. He can bring truth to every lie you may be believing, comfort to every heartache, love in the midst of being lonely. He really does have it all!
@StevenFurtick posted recently, “Until Jesus is enough for you, no person or thing ever will be.” This truth will bring you to see that single doesn’t equal depressing and miserable, unless you choose it to. But maybe you just never realized you had the option.
Sweet girl, you do!
“Set your gaze on the path before you. With fixed purpose, looking straight ahead, ignore life’s distractions. Watch where you’re going! Stick to the path of truth, and the road will be safe and smooth before you.” 4:25-26
Gaze: It’s not in what you see, but how you see it. It’s not that you’re single, but how you’re living being single.
Purpose: God has a purpose for every season for your life. What is His purpose for your single season?
Straight: The best way to stay on course is to have a fixed eye on the finish (that Purpose). If you can’t see an option you were contemplating through the perspective of your purpose, there’s a reason it doesn’t fit into view and you’re better off without it.
Truth: The narrow road is narrow for a reason; it’s a conscious choice for those who have decided to stay on the right path.
Safe and Smooth: God’s best can only be found on the narrow road.
Invigorating life. Great affection. Overflowing joy. Wellsprings of happiness. Deep contentment. Rich purpose. Radiant health. Beauty and Grace.
These are all for you, for your entire life, even while single! Again, maybe you just never realized you had the option. Goodbye miserable and depressing. Hello Savoring Single!
In this with you girl, Shelley